you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize