can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Randomize