You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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