Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Randomize
