return my video game
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
We are two peas in an std pod
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
