We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
