I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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