so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize