I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize
