You work out of a Hotel?
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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