At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize