so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
