Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Randomize