i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
