My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
