The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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