I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
