Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
