I want to stick my p in your. b.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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