You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
