My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
