i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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