You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
