I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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