So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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