Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
