that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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