I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize