I wannas sexs uuuuu
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
