I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
