I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
