it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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