No, you can still breathe under the balls.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
