When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize