Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize