I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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