And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Come on in and take your pants off
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