if only i could text you this smell
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
