he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
