Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
