God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
