one might say we're banned from that church
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
