That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
We need to rekindle our bromance
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
