I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
All I want is dick and wine.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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