The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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