And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
