dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
