No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
