What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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