yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
