so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
