So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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