I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
