remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
PANTIES FOUND
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