bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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