she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
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