Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize